Saturday, 5 July 2014

'FAT IS UGLY' 'REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES' ?!

The first time I was called fat I was just 7 years of age, by my Granddad's new Fiance whilst trying to find me a bridesmaid dress that would fit. It felt from that day on I heard that comment being thrown at me, left, right and centre. Its all I thought about, at such a young age when I should have been enjoying myself with no care in the world, instead I found myself subconsciously comparing myself to my cousins. I would look around the playground and think I'm the biggest girl in my primary school, I felt ugly and I knew other people thought it, even the ones that never said it directly to my face. I don't blame them people, I don't even blame their parents for socialising them to think that way. I blame the media, the guys with all the power. I blame society for my corrupt thoughts, when I feel anyone size 8 shouldn't ever feel insecure, because actually they deserve them emotions too. We all have flaws, and a size 6 should be able to vocally discuss them as much as a size 16 should. 

I am a 18 year old, plus size girl who has struggled with weight issues for more than half my lifetime and honestly I think its sad. I don't understand why  in such a diverse society we still have this premium body shape which everyone beats themselves up over if they don't mirror these ideals. People forget that the women we see in magazines are models, they get paid for their beauty, they are the best of the best, hence why they've made it into magazines, so why do some girls go to the extremes to look like them. I've never seen a girl admire the works of Einstein and Newton, and spends every waking minute working and working to get up to their level of intellect, yet girls will look at Kate Moss and rotate their whole lifestyle around trying to get to the size she is. Maybe that's where we are going wrong, maybe us girls should concentrate more on personality and intellect than on looks because realistically when it comes down to it, when we are dead and buried no one will care about the way you looked, they will however care about the person you were inside and the way you treated others.

 I don't blame women for the way we behave because I do the exact same, I have been on and off diets more times than I care to count , I constantly think about my weight and I've spent hundreds of pounds investing in things that honestly have never worked. It shouldn't be like this, thin or fat we should accept and respect one another and not idealise one shape over another. We need to see each person as individual not collectively and judge them on how they treat others, not on how they look. Society makes it so hard for girls and boys to be happy because they put a few models in magazines, tell them that's how they should look and until they do they're miserable.




Even when I look at body confidence websites who claim we should all be happy with the way we look I feel a great sense of disappointment because they exclude thinner girls, claiming 'Curves are better' and its wrong. We shouldn't isolate one shape at the price of another feeling accepted. I recently came across a body confidence website which was titled something along the lines of "Love your curves"  (I won't bash any website publicly) but what it was indicating to me was that curvy girls need motivation to feel confident whereas thin girls should automatically have that body confidence, which in itself is an obscure idea which I feel reproduces the corrupt idea that society is feeding us.


 I'm not saying don't change anything, if you feel as though you would be more confident a bit bigger or a bit thinner that's fine,  and there's ways you can achieve that. What I'm saying is, don't ever feel pressured to look a certain way or feel any less beautiful for not looking like the girl that society tell us we should aim to look like. We all have faults, even the girls in magazines. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be happy and confident just the way you are, don't be afraid to say 'I feel pretty today', I won't sugar-coat it at first you may get a few strange looks but thats because you are the change and  you are challenging the ideas that everyone has naturally conformed too, but I bet every time you challenge these ideas you will give hope to at least one individual around you. I have had times when I think god I must be the only person feeling like this- I must be the only person with stretch marks, the only person who's boobs don't look as great when I take my enhancing push up off, or that I'm the only person who's arms look like there are about to take off when I wave but I'm not there's been people before me and there will be millions after me feeling like this. It's nature occurring, something we will hate it but it still happens.



I recently came across a post on tumblr, and it sent me to this link Marisota. I found it eye opening, and it really did shock me on how we perceive ourselves. You start by filling out your body measurements, it then shows you some diagrams of different shape and sized bodies, where you  to select one that you feel your body resembles the most. Using your actual body measurements and the same diagrams it tells you which body yours is the closest too. I actually selected myself five sizes above what I am. It just shows you that how you see yourself is completely different to the reality of your appearance and how others perceive you. We are way too harsh on ourselves and its time we relax and just be happy.

So a note to myself and everyone else...STOP HATING YOUR BODY. Stop feeling ugly, stop comparing yourself to others, and stop spending everyday obsessing over how much you weigh, and start living! We have one life so lets make the most of it and be happy. No more "Real women have curves", no more "Fat is ugly" because BOTH are ridiculous. We as women go through enough crap and struggle as it is, we need to stick together and respect one another, not be going at each other and slating each other. We need to start focusing on the more important issues going on in the world instead of the fact that I won't be wearing a bikini this summer or that my friend can shop in the child's section in clothes shops.  I have insecurities but I also love my lips, I love my curves, I love my hairline, and I love the shape of my teeth. I love my health, my family, my friends, my knowledge and the love I have. So it starts with YOU, if you want someone to love the way you look, you love the way you look and you voice them thoughts. Lets challenge societies ideals.

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